Debbie Dyson

If I knew then what I know now, would I have changed things? Maybe yes or maybe no. I think we all cross that bridge at one point in our life?

Hi, my name is Debbie Dyson and I now live in USA but was born and lived in Australia. Here is my story…

The year was 1988, the year before I got married. I had numbness up my arm. I still don’t recall which arm it was, but I thought I was having a heart attack. I went to a GP who said I was showing symptoms of MS. What!! I thought. MS people are in wheelchairs. He suggested I reconsider marriage and definitely forget having children. I ignored him, walked away and got on with my life.

I was married with a great job and thought life was bliss. It was December 1995 and I awoke one morning completely numb from my chest down and couldn’t even get out of bed. I went to my current GP, whom I have the most enormous respect for and told him what a GP had told me back in 1988 and he said “Let’s once and for all get you to a neurologist and check this out.” The neurologist arranged many many many many many tests and his conclusion was remitting-relapsing multiple sclerosis. He did inform me however “That doesn’t mean you are headed for the wheelchair.” What a relief! It took me about 3 months to recover from that episode. I returned to the work-force in a part-time capacity.

I never discussed this diagnoses with anyone, except God, my family and closest friends. I have very strong ‘Christian’ faith and values and believe in ‘Healing’. I also believe things happen for a reason and even if I don’t see physical healing, God is in control and I’m ok with that.

By the end of 2002, my marriage ended. I guess dealing with daily challenges can be overwhelming to the spouse who maybe sees himself more as a carer instead of a husband. I didn’t see myself as being dependent on anyone and still to this day find myself being fairly independent. At this stage, my mobility was slowly deteriorating and my neurologist told me I was now categorized with secondary progressive ms. I can still walk with a walker but only within the home and very limited. I use a motorized chair more often than not. I am still here and breathing, so you do what you must do to make things easier for you. I was at first angry at divorce and a disability, but soon realized there is others a lot worse off than me.

In 2003, I stumbled across the MSIF website and decided to start a diary. My first entry was basic info about my MS, my marriage breakdown and what I do to keep myself happy. A few days later I received many emails from fellow MSIF people, but one in particular stood out. I received this email from Brent Dyson. He offered me encouragement as he had gone through similar circumstances. His marriage had also failed. We soon found ourselves emailing each other every day and this soon turned into phone calls. We had so much in common and both had the same faith beliefs, which is very important.

Well, I decided one day to visit and meet Brent. This was not as easy as it sounds because I lived in Australia and he lives in the USA. I was 39 years old and when I told my family and friends of my intention, they were horrified. You know the horror stories of meeting someone on the Internet. But, my Mum and myself were soon on a plane bound for the States.

When we arrived Brent and his parents greeted us. We were a sight, he was in his wheelchair and I was in mine. Mum stayed for about 2 weeks and I stayed on for about 2 months. People with a disability can travel very well either on their own or with a companion. The airline attendants and the airport staff were fabulous. There was always someone waiting for me with a wheelchair to take me to organize my luggage and board my next flight.

Here I am now, married to Brent and now officially a “Resident of the USA”. I still hold my citizenship status in Australia. We manage perfectly fine. I have had hand controls fitted to his handicap accessible van. Brent no longer drives due to vision problems associated with MS but my vision is perfect. Our home is perfectly fitted with handicap accessible fittings for showering etc. He has very supportive family and friends who help us whenever we need. My Dad comes over from Australia and manages to stay here for up to a month. All round our biggest support and encouragement is from both of our parents.

So, if I knew then what I know now, would I change things? Definitely no. Irrelevant of physical challenges we all experience, both Brent and myself know if it wasn’t for MS and MSIF, we would never have met. Never loose your enthusiasm or your will to keep going. Search for ways to make your life easier and manageable. Keep on keeping on.



If you would like to contact Debbie, please send your e-mails to info@msif.org and we will pass your message on.